Controlling Your Own Body Language

                       One person's body language unconsciously influences how the other

                       person in a meeting feels. So you can influence the way customers

                       feel subtly through body language.

                       Speak a familiar language

                       Try to use non-verbal vocabulary that is generally understood to

                       convey positive messages. If the customer is a good reader of body

                       language, you are ahead. If the customer is not, you have not lost

                       anything:

                            Maintain good posture, sitting erect but not stiff, hands visible

                            and open.

                            Avoid closed gestures such as crossing your arms across your

                            chest.

                            Smile.

                            Maintain eye contact, particularly while the customer is

                            speaking. This says you care about what the customer is

                            saying. To avoid staring, look away occasionally to take notes

                            or to look at materials the customer has brought.

                            Focus your attention on the customer. Avoid fidgeting or

                            letting your eyes wander while the customer is speaking.

                            These actions will draw the customer's attention away from

                            the conversation and suggest you would rather be somewhere

                            else.

                            Nod agreement. This is positive if you do it convincingly and in

                            appropriate places. If you do it automatically, it says you are

                            not listening.

                            Occasionally express agreement verbally to reinforce nods.

                       Reflect the customer's language

                       Make customers feel more comfortable at first by matching their

                       body language. For example:

                            If the customer's body language is very open, begin to match

                            it.

                            If it is reserved or nervous, tone down your enthusiasm a bit to

                            make the customer more comfortable.

                            If the customer prefers to maintain some distance, avoid

                            moving too closely.

                            If the customer moves slowly and makes few gestures, avoid

                            extensive gesturing and quick movements.

                       Using Body Language To Influence The Way The

                       Customer Feels

                       We normally think of body language as a reflection of what the

                       person is feeling, and that's true. But it is also true that if you change

                       your body language, your feelings will begin to change as well. That's

                       why, when you feel yourself dragging in the middle of the afternoon,

                       a quick walk around the block can rejuvenate you. You also tend to

                       feel better when you put on fresh clothes or if you just smile.

                       This principle has two practical applications

                       You can make yourself look and feel better by using more positive

                       body language. The famous football coach Vince Lombardi used to

                       tell his players before an away game, "You've got to look good

                       getting off the bus, and then play a heck of a game." In other words,

                       if you look and act like a winner at the outset you are more likely to

                       become one.

                       Body language is contagious. If person X uses relatively neutral body

                       language, and person Y uses positive or negative body language,

                       person X will gradually begin to mirror that. Thus, if the customer

                       starts out neutral or somewhat negative and you are increasingly

                       positive, the customer's body language (and thus their mood) will

                       become more positive as well.

                       To influence the way the customer feels:

                         1.Start with body language that is generally considered to be

                            positive.

                         2.Carefully observe the customer's body language.

                         3.Alter your body language to more closely match the

                            customer's.

                         4.During the meeting, if you think a more positive tone is

                            desirable, gradually change your body language to be more

                            positive in order to influence the way the customer feels.

                            Always make positive transitions in your body language while

                            the customer is speaking. This says you support the

                            customer's ideas and feelings. If you make changes when you

                            begin to speak, it may say that you are trying to take control.

                       Additional Body Language Techniques

                       Match your words and body language

                       The customer will trust you less if you attempt to use body language

                       that differs markedly from what you are saying. If you are honest in

                       both, and use both to express your sincere interest in helping the

                       customer, this will show.

                       Maintain the right distance

                       People have a comfort zone for how close they want other people to

                       come; only people they feel very comfortable with are allowed to

                       penetrate within a certain distance. Follow these guidelines to

                       maintain a comfortable distance:

                            Follow the customer's lead

                            From the moment you greet customers, watch where they

                            stand. This will tell you how close to approach. If they back

                            away a bit after the handshake, maintain a greater distance.

                         

                            Don't tower over the customer

                            If you are much taller than the customer, be especially careful

                            to keep a comfortable distance. Once you are seated and the

                            customer communicates more openness, you can begin to

                            approach more closely.

                            Be careful about touching

                            A firm, brief handshake is always acceptable for greeting

                            someone you do not know well. Other touching is

                            uncomfortable for many people.

                        

                            Move closer together at an appropriate time

                            This is valuable in strengthening the positive relationship. But

                            when you move closer to the customer, do it for a reason:

                                 You can move closer to the customer to look at

                                 a document together, such as a brochure.

                                 If the customer begins to lean closer, expressing

                                 positive energy towards you, it is OK for you to

                                 lean closer as well